Corndog Eating Pictures

First Lady Vows To Humiliate One Fat Kid Per Week

WASHINGTON (CAP) - First Lady Michelle Obama has fired the latest salvo in her battle against obesity, launching an "Obesity Poster Child" program that will call out one overweight child per week in a national ad campaign.

"It's easy to tell people to eat right, exercise and get outside instead of sitting in front of a TV or computer screen," wrote Obama in a press release on the new program. "But what will really drive the point home is an image of an actual overweight child whose life is bound to be hampered by poor health and social isolation, especially after his or her picture runs in every magazine and newspaper in America.

"Also on billboards," she added.

The pictures, to be snapped surreptitiously by prominent obesity photographer Lucas Earls , will feature children between the ages of approximately 7 and 13 who clearly meet the national standards for obesity.

"If they happen to be holding a corn dog at the time, all the better," said Earls, who plans to scour the entire country for subjects, but mostly Alabama.

Anticipating criticism about using photos of children, Sally Caruthers, spokeswoman for the First Lady's "Let's Move" program, noted that the organization would be obtaining written consent from the parents of each subject. Also, the photos will be taken from angles that accentuate the children's prodigious girth, not their facial features, she said.

"It's very likely that only their family and friends will be able to identify them," noted Caruthers.

The first subject, Olivia Funderburk, is an 8-year-old from Jacksons' Gap, Ala., approximately 3-foot-11-inches tall and 112 pounds. In ads set to debut nationally tomorrow, she's pictured at the Tallapoosa County Flea Market with a giant piece of fried dough hanging out of her mouth.

Under her image is the message, "Don't let your child end up like Olivia. At least not if you want grandchildren someday."

"I came up with that last part myself," noted Earls.

Asked by CAP News why they agreed to allow their daughter's image to be used in the program, Olivia's mother, Jessica Funderbunk, 27, noted, "Because she'll be on TV, duh!"

The Funderbunks have apparently already lined up several local endorsement deals based on Olivia's newfound fame, including from the flea market where she was photographed, a car dealership and a fried dough manufacturer.

The program has run into a few snags, however. USA Today has refused to print the ads, citing their policy of running only pictures of attractive people . And the Obamas' healthy lifestyle initiatives have never quite rebounded from President Barack Obama's ill-fated 2009 plea for healthier Halloween pranks .

gluten-free corn dogs

Do I need to say anything?

Corn dogs. Gluten-free.

Okay, I will tell you this, before you leave this space and scroll down to the recipe. The lovely nostalgia of childhood summers and country fairs comes to us from our friend Matt Armendariz . You know Matt, don’t you? Incredible photographer , intrepid traveler, husband to the wonderfully talented Adam, buoyant and alive. Matt is one of the most loving and hilarious people I’ve ever met. Whenever I see him, I hug him 20 times in 5 minutes, just to get my hug quota in, since it will be months before we’re in the same room again. I lurve him.

That’s not why I’m telling you about On a Stick! . This book stands on its own. If I were not friends with the author, I would still grab up a copy, get hungry flipping through the pages, ogle over the coconut shrimp, the grilled sweet potato wedges, the fried mozzarella, and the savory tofu dango, and then take a copy home. (Being friends with Matt meant the publishers sent us a copy of this book.) The concept? Easy. Everything on a stick. As I write, we are one hour away from the day it turns summer. Bring out the grills. Soak those bamboo skewers. Time for Chinese five-spice skewers, caprese sticks, bratwursts, and even sweet and sour lollies. (Don’t put those on the barbecue.) Hopefully, someday, it will be warm here. We’re having skewer parties soon.

On a Stick! has recipes for the food found at fairs that gives Americans a deliciously bad name: fried pickles, candy bars, and chicken and waffles. Those decadent recipes are outnumbered by the far healthier, world-flavored foods you might not try unless they were presented to you in adorable fashion. For those folks at your party who would like to drink instead, there are red and white sangria pops.

Need I say more? Besides, look at that photo. Corn dogs.

Go.

(Oh, one more thing. I’m deeply honored to be part of the Gilt Taste team with this piece about how giving up gluten helped me find the love of life. And Danny . I can’t believe that I can write this: Francis Lam and Ruth Reichl helped to edit it. Faint